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Thursday, June 4, 2026

The Reverend Bloom on OnlyFans

 
My newest artwork is a performance piece exploring forgiveness.

I take confessions and can perform Last Rites. I am ordained by the Universal Church of Life.
You will also be able to view my previous artworks for the Dominartist™ project and archival Wife TV™ artworks and videos.

I will also be selling my new range of underwear and lounge clothing here and on eBay.
Performance Concept Piece 2026
A half-human, half-AI creature exploring the erotic theology of forgiveness.

© 2026 Sarnia de la Maré FRSA
Artist, author, musician, provocateur—in no particular order.
#ReverendBloom #PerformanceArt #ThirdWoman #AIandFlesh

Check out my eBay Store

 

 

 


Tuesday, March 10, 2026

The Big Issue Man Who Wrote Me a Love Poem - A modern Mills & Swoon romance short by Sarnia de la Maré

 Blue Eyes and Beating Hearts.

A Mills & Swoon Modern Short.

In the polished glass corridors of London’s trendier office districts, there exists a species of woman who has learned to walk quickly.

Quickly past coffee queues, cyclists, and, most efficiently of all, quickly past inconvenient human realities wherever her Manowla heels clicked on London's sidewalks.

Charlotte Briggs was one of these women.

At thirty-five she possessed excellent hair, excellent shoes, and an excellent job in public relations—an industry that specialised in polishing other people’s reputations while quietly eroding one’s own soul.

Every morning she stepped out of the tube station, checked her phone, and moved with professional determination toward the gleaming lobby of the agency where she worked. The tall black glass like a judgement on those that could not enter.

"Big Issue, madam."

Charlotte as usual declined not really sure what the Big Issue was exactly but well aware that sellers were usually down on their luck.

Charlotte was not unkind. She had been taught to be kind and gracious but she always had meetings.

Her boyfriend, Oliver, had often remarked that she possessed an admirable ability to “filter distractions.”

Oliver was a financial analyst, which meant he had never filtered anything more morally complicated than a spreadsheet.

Charlotte tolerated him with the mild patience one reserves for reliable appliances. She was expecting him to propose in around six months, she would say yes to shut her parents up, two babies in two years, wam, bam thankyou mam. She would turn around and they would be gone and she would be left with the analyst.

Her life was as predictable as death. 

It was raining—one of those London drizzles that appears designed purely to destroy a Vidal Sassoon hair appointment. Charlotte was juggling an umbrella, a phone call, and the vague dread of a nine-o’clock pitch meeting when it happened.


She actually bought the Big Issue.

"Oh, I wasn't expecting that." He appologised and taking her money glanced into Charlotte's eyes. Then something weird happened. It was subtle but huge, invisible but energised. A twinge originating from some unknown part of her brain that sent messages to every neuron, every cell, and bounced around searching for a place to rest.

Blue, his eyes were the bluest blue like an Albanian sea and a Brazilian sky. An azurean tsunami of passion and waves that could fell trees, and more to the point, women.

Charlotte dropped her gaze immediately and hurried inside the building.

Ridiculous, she thought.

Entirely ridiculous.

After all, the man was unemployed. Probably living in a shelter. Maybe even in rehab.

Oliver, who owned twenty nearly identical suits, believed passion was something that one scheduled annually on holiday. But his reliability and ambition were central to a controlled future.

Still, the next morning Charlotte found herself glancing toward the pavement before she even reached the office.

He was there, the man with Blue eyes. Sketchbook balanced on his knee. A small pile of magazines beside him.

He caught her glance and smiled—not eagerly, not pleadingly, a simple smile and a flutter of lashes teased the blue into her morning. And so it went on, a morning ritual with Blue, it probably wasn't his name but that is what she called him. A nod, a smile, and a new copy whenever the Big Issue came out.


Three months later Charlotte discovered Oliver cheating on her with a yoga instructor named Celeste. A frenemy sent her an image of them wrapped around each other in glittery lycra like some alien insect.

Under the instagram photo “Last night's yoga class was incredible.”

There is something uniquely humiliating about heartbreak in your mid-thirties. One feels old enough to know better and young enough to still care.

By the time Charlotte reached the office the next morning her eyes were swollen and her dignity was hanging by a thread. But at least she would not be seen dead in glittery lycra.

Blue looked up.

“Rough morning?” he asked gently.

Charlotte laughed once—a broken sound that cracked into sobs.

“My boyfriend,” she said vaguely, “appears to have developed extracurricular hobbies. Yoga, to be specific, with a leggy woman in pink lycra”

Blue closed his sketchbook.

I tell you what, this is my last day, let's celebrate in the pub.

“Last day?”

“I got a job.”

Charlotte blinked.

“Oh, congratulations, doing what?”

"I sold my book, London publisher, they even gave me a PR agent...." Blue was laughing. His eyes reflecting the sun like mirrors into her soul."

He tilted his head.

“Come for a drink with me.”

Charlotte stared at him.

“You don’t even know me.”

“True,” he said. “But you look like someone who could use a cheer-up drink. And I happen to be in a celebratory mood.”

She hesitated.

Then, quite unexpectedly, she heard herself say:

“Alright then.”


The drink became two.

The two became three.

By ten o’clock they had wandered into a tiny bar in Soho where someone was hosting an open-mic poetry night.

Charlotte, who was now pleasantly drunk, found the entire situation thrilling.

"This is my first time," she said.

Blue smiled. "Needless to say, I have been around the block a few times."

 

They both laughed at the insinuation. Later Blue was on the small stage with the intimate crowd sharing in the joy of his presence.

The poem was about a woman who moved through the world too quickly.

About a woman with sharp heels and sharper intelligence who pretended not to notice kindness because it disrupted her schedule.

About a woman whose sadness sat behind perfectly applied lipstick.

Charlotte felt something dangerous happen inside her chest.

The room had gone quiet.

And when he finished, every person in the bar applauded.

Charlotte was staring at him, swooning pathetically like a teenager and drinking with the panic of lust suddenly exposed.


Later that night Blue walked her home.

When she reached the bed she collapsed sideways, still wearing one shoe. Blue gently removed the shock red Manolo and covered her with a blanket.

Then he quietly left leaving the poem on the bedside table.

When Charlotte woke the next morning she had a headache, mascara on the pillow, and the terrible suspicion that she had embarrassed herself in Soho.

The days were back to normal and a few days went by.

Where could she find Blue. No phone number, no address, no Instagram. And Blue wasn't even his real name! 

Charlotte asked the man at the ethnic street food wagon. Then the new Big Issue seller, and she even rang the Big Issue head office.

They were sympathetic but firm.

“Data protection,” the woman explained. “If we see him we’ll pass along your message, but we can’t give you any details.”

Days passed.

Then weeks.

Charlotte tried to return to normal life.

But she found she hated her job.

Hated her empty flat.

And hated the quiet absence outside the office doors each morning.

Some nights she fell asleep clutching the poem. By now she knew it by heart.


Then one evening she stepped out of the building and stopped.

He was standing across the street.

Except he no longer looked like the man she remembered.

And his posture carried the relaxed confidence of someone entirely at home in the world.

He crossed the street slowly.

Charlotte stared.

“You disappeared,” she said.


"I seem to be in high demand, " he laughed.

Then he stepped closer.

The blue eyes washed her with an indescribable urge and they kissed.

“Charlotte,” he said gently, “would you like to go on a date? No pressure, no promises, and definitely no unsolicited poems, unless you ask of course.”

Charlotte studied him for a moment.

Then she smiled. "I hereby consent to you writing me love poems for the rest of my days."


©2026 Sarnia de la Maré


 




Sunday, March 8, 2026

The Viscount Who Misplaced His Reputation A Mills & Swoon Short #romance #perioddrama

 

The Viscount Who Misplaced His Reputation

A Mills & Swoon Short

 

In the agreeable scandal factories of Georgian London, reputations were delicate objects—rather like porcelain teacups. One careless moment and they shattered upon the ground, echoing through the chattering classes the moment a delicious rumour appeared.

Lord Alistair Hawthorne, Viscount Bellmere, had misplaced his entirely.

This was not, to be clear, an accident.

The trouble began on a Tuesday, which is a particularly dangerous day for respectable men. Sundays encourage virtue, Mondays encourage work, but by Tuesday mischief begins creeping in through the hidden door of fresh hopes.

 

 

On this particular Tuesday, the viscount was discovered emerging from the conservatory at Lady Pembroke’s garden party with Miss Eliza Fairleigh.

Miss Fairleigh was not his fiancée.

Miss Fairleigh was not even particularly known to him until approximately twenty minutes earlier.

She was, however, holding his waistcoat.

Society, which is famously generous in its interpretations, concluded immediately that something interesting—a polite word for smutty—had occurred among the trembling sepals of the voluptuous orchids.

Miss Fairleigh, for her part, appeared entirely untroubled. The nonchalance of a successful romp did not show—save perhaps for slightly rosy cheeks. And not the ones on her face.

She was a woman of sharp eyes, clever conversation, and a laugh that made elderly matrons tighten their lips in disapproval.

“Your waistcoat, my lord,” she said calmly, returning the garment.

“You removed it,” the viscount replied.

“You seemed overheated.”

“I was not overheated.”

She tilted her head.

“Then perhaps it was anticipation.”

The viscount, who had previously faced cavalry charges with greater composure, found himself momentarily speechless.

By evening the rumours had matured beautifully.

At White’s and Gregory Gentleman's Club it was suggested that the viscount had been seen kissing Miss Fairleigh’s hand with unnecessary enthusiasm for all to witness.

At Almack’s the story evolved into an embrace behind a palm.

By midnight someone claimed they had been practically horizontal among the begonias—which was botanically improbable, but socially irresistible.

The viscount, who had never been particularly careful with his reputation, discovered he rather enjoyed the situation.

Not least because Miss Fairleigh possessed certain strategically placed curves that had been imprinted permanently upon his brain—a most unforgettable image of garden delights.

Miss Fairleigh, true to fashion, enjoyed it even more.

They met again two evenings later at a musicale.

“You appear very calm for a ruined man,” she observed.

“I am considering the advantages,” he said.

“Of scandal?”

“Of you.”

Miss Fairleigh raised one elegant eyebrow.

“You hardly know me.”

“True,” he said thoughtfully. “But I suspect I should like to.”

There was a pause.

The orchestra began something delicate involving violins and a sighing choir.

Miss Fairleigh leaned slightly closer.

“My lord,” she murmured, “if you think the rumours are entertaining now…”

Her smile was slow and extremely unhelpful.

“…you should hear what people say after the second garden party.”

And Lord Bellmere, who had mislaid many things in life—gloves, fortunes, occasionally horses—suddenly realised he had no intention whatsoever of recovering his reputation.

Some losses, after all, were simply too enjoyable.

 

And that, dear listener, is how Viscount Bellmere lost his reputation… and found considerably better company. 

©2026 Sarnia de la Maré 

Published by Tale Teller Club 


Saturday, March 7, 2026

💋 The Widow From Bath Who Borrowed Husbands Mills & Swoon Short by Sarnia de la Maré

The Widow Who Borrowed Husbands

In the polite districts of Bath there existed a woman whom respectable matrons referred to only in whispers.

Mrs Arabella Devereaux.

A widow of three years, excellent posture, alarming wit, and a reputation for borrowing husbands the way other ladies borrowed shawls.

Not permanently, you understand.

Just for an evening.

Arabella herself considered the arrangement perfectly civilised. A husband, she reasoned, was a dreadful thing to own outright — expensive, noisy, and inclined to develop opinions.

But borrowing one occasionally?

Delightful.

Her system was admirably organised. Thursdays were reserved for supper companions. Saturdays for dancing partners. Sundays, naturally, for philosophical discussions about the nature of love, which most gentlemen agreed were best conducted near a sofa.

The wives of Bath, however, were less appreciative of Arabella’s intellectual curiosity.

“She is dangerous,” declared Mrs Hardwick at the Pump Room, clutching her smelling salts with theatrical urgency.

“Why?” asked a younger lady.

Mrs Hardwick lowered her voice.

“Because she makes the men laugh.”

This, as every married woman knows, is the most dangerous trick of all.

The situation might have continued indefinitely had Captain Nathaniel Graves not returned from the continent.

Tall. Broad-shouldered. Recently decorated for bravery.

And, most inconveniently, completely immune to flirtation.

Arabella encountered him at a musicale and immediately recognised the problem.

He did not stare.

He did not blush.

He did not attempt to compliment her shoulders, her eyes, or her scandalously confident posture.

Instead he looked at her with calm amusement and said:

“Mrs Devereaux, I have been warned about you.”

“How efficient of society,” she replied smoothly. “And have they advised you to run?”

“No,” he said.
“They advised me to guard my heart.”

Arabella laughed.

“My dear Captain, that is entirely unnecessary. I never keep them.”

Over the next fortnight something deeply inconvenient occurred.

Captain Graves refused to be borrowed.

He attended dinners, conversed charmingly, and escorted elderly ladies to their carriages — yet whenever Arabella attempted her usual game of glittering seduction, he simply observed her with that infuriating half-smile.

“You enjoy this,” she said one evening.

“Very much.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he said calmly, “you are waiting for someone who will not leave at midnight.”

Arabella raised an eyebrow.

“How perceptive.”

“And how wrong.”

But for the first time in three years, she did not borrow a husband that evening.

Instead she walked home beside the one man who seemed entirely unwilling to be temporary.

At the edge of her garden gate he paused.

“You could marry again,” he said gently.

Arabella studied him.

“And lose my excellent reputation?”

He smiled.

“I suspect it would improve.”

She leaned closer, eyes glittering.

“Captain Graves… what are you proposing?”

“Nothing, yet, a gentleman never assumes too early.”

“How disappointing.”

“Let's say, I am merely conducting reconnaissance.”

Arabella laughed, the sort of laugh that made men think of intimacy.

“Well then,” she said softly, “you may borrow me tomorrow evening.”

The Captain bowed and kissed her gloved hand pulling her body towards him. She felt the rising power in his stiff loins and gasped. The thought of him inside her was almost too much to bear. She gasped again, lips wet and opening, like her heart.

💋 The Love Clinic — Why Do People Fall for Unavailable Partners? by Sarnia de la Maré

 

The Love Clinic — Why Do People Fall for Unavailable Partners?

Welcome to The Love Clinic.

Today’s question is one that many people quietly recognise in their own lives: why do we sometimes fall for people who are emotionally unavailable?

It is a pattern that appears again and again in modern relationships. Someone becomes fascinated with a partner who cannot fully commit, who sends mixed signals, or who seems distant just when intimacy begins to grow.

At first glance, it might seem irrational. Why would anyone choose a relationship that cannot truly develop?

Psychologists suggest that several powerful emotional forces can make unavailable partners strangely attractive.

One reason is the psychology of pursuit.

When something feels difficult to obtain, it can become more desirable. This is sometimes called the “scarcity effect.” When a person seems distant or elusive, the attention they do give may feel unusually valuable.

Small gestures — a message, a compliment, a brief moment of closeness — can suddenly carry much more emotional weight.

Because the affection appears limited, it feels more precious.

Another reason involves emotional familiarity.

For some people, relationships with unavailable partners mirror emotional patterns they experienced earlier in life. If someone grew up in an environment where affection was unpredictable or inconsistent, they may unconsciously recognise that pattern as normal.

As adults, they may find themselves drawn to partners who recreate the same emotional rhythm: moments of warmth followed by distance.

This does not mean people consciously choose these dynamics. Often the attraction happens quietly and automatically.

There is also the powerful influence of imagination.

When someone is emotionally distant, much of the relationship exists in the mind rather than in reality. Because the partner remains partly unknown, it is easy to imagine qualities that may not actually exist.

The unavailable person becomes a mystery — someone whose deeper feelings might simply need time, patience, or understanding to appear.

Hope can fill the space where certainty should be.

Another factor is emotional validation.

Winning the affection of someone who initially seemed distant can feel like proof of one’s own value or desirability. The challenge itself becomes part of the attraction.

If the relationship succeeds, it can feel like a personal triumph.

But relationships built on pursuit and uncertainty often come with emotional costs. When affection remains inconsistent, the person seeking closeness may experience cycles of excitement followed by disappointment.

Over time, this can create anxiety rather than stability.

Healthy relationships tend to share a different quality: emotional availability from both sides.

Mutual interest, clear communication, and reliable affection create a sense of safety. Instead of chasing moments of attention, both people feel able to relax into the relationship.

Recognising the pattern of unavailable partners is often the first step toward changing it.

Sometimes what feels like irresistible attraction is actually a familiar emotional script — one that can be rewritten once we become aware of it.

In love, mystery can be exciting. But genuine connection usually grows where openness, curiosity, and emotional presence exist together.

Thank you for visiting The Love Clinic.


The Love Clinic explores the psychology of relationships, the mysteries of attraction, and the timeless patterns of the human heart. Follow the series for more questions about love, connection, and modern romance.

©2026 Sarnia de la Maré

Why Do People Fall in Love with Strangers? 💋 Mills and Swoon™ Love Clinic

Why Do People Fall in Love with Strangers?

Welcome to the love podcast.

Today we’re exploring a question that has fascinated poets, psychologists, and storytellers for centuries: why do people sometimes fall in love with complete strangers?

It can happen in the most ordinary moments. Two people notice each other across a room. A brief conversation on a train feels unexpectedly meaningful. A glance, a smile, or a shared laugh suddenly seems charged with possibility.

But what is actually happening in the mind when a stranger suddenly becomes someone who feels deeply important?

Psychologists suggest that part of the answer lies in how the human brain processes novelty. We are naturally drawn to new experiences and unfamiliar faces. When we encounter someone we do not know, our brains begin rapidly filling in the gaps with imagination.

Because we know very little about the stranger, we often project qualities onto them. We may imagine they are kinder, more interesting, or more compatible with us than we can possibly know from a brief interaction.

In other words, the stranger becomes a canvas onto which our hopes and desires can be painted.

There is also a powerful biological component.

When we experience attraction, the brain releases chemicals such as dopamine and norepinephrine. These chemicals are associated with excitement, reward, and heightened attention.

This chemical surge can make a brief encounter feel unusually intense. Time may seem to slow down. Small details—such as the sound of someone’s voice or the way they laugh—become unusually memorable.

Because the experience is so vivid, the mind may interpret it as something meaningful or even destined.

Another important factor is mystery.

Familiar people come with known habits, flaws, and histories. But strangers carry an aura of possibility. Their lives are unknown stories waiting to be discovered.

This mystery can make the imagination work harder. The mind begins constructing narratives about who this person might be and what a relationship with them could look like.

For many people, the idea of falling in love with a stranger also taps into cultural storytelling. Literature, films, and songs have long celebrated the romantic power of chance encounters.

The idea that love might appear suddenly, without planning, feels both thrilling and hopeful.

But psychologists also note that what feels like love at first sight is often more accurately described as intense attraction combined with projection.

Real love usually develops over time, as two people learn about each other’s values, personalities, and emotional patterns.

Still, those first moments of fascination can be powerful. They may lead to conversations, relationships, and shared experiences that would never have happened otherwise.

In this sense, the stranger represents possibility. They remind us that human connection can appear unexpectedly in everyday life.

Perhaps that is why these encounters remain so compelling. In a world that often feels predictable, the sudden spark of attraction reminds us that our emotional lives are still capable of surprise.

Falling in love with a stranger may begin with imagination and chemistry. But sometimes, those fleeting moments become the starting point for something far more real.

Thank you for listening.




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